‘‘ELLA YANG KARAT” THE RUSTY ASS DOWNGRADE Year: 2021 Size: 40 X 40 inches ACRYLIC ON CANVAS CONCEPT “Either I make something positive out of this or spend some time in jail for reacting abrasively”. Hit List series is a depiction of my faltering emotional roller coaster, where I find myself constantly at war periodically battling between the words FORGIVE and FORGET within my overpowering ego; towards my subjects. It highlights mental scars in a space where my usual forbearing nature isn’t effectively articulated. The characters painted have all at some point savagely impacted my life so much so I am demented to whichthose two contenders are my priority. Desperately seeking outlets and solutions to get rid of these melancholic sentiments in the most pragmatic way possible, I eventually surrendered and took solace in my canvases after 18 years; maximizing the freedom to paint without conforming to the opinions of the general populace who might notunderstand these opaque provocations.They were painted tonot be praised but questioned! The mediums, brush strokes and colours I have chosen are based on the intensity I feel when I think of a specific character’s story and experience; which are not of fixed merit until I feel they are emotionally absolute. However, as much as this series is about harboring unpleasant feelings and resentments towards my subjects, it is also indirectly a reminder and reflection of my flaws illuminating the truths about the inner workings of my fragile ego, dark impulses and meaningless trepidations that speaks in equal eloquence to specific fixations and euphoria of my singular catastrophic mind. Having to deal with these arcane notions was a way for me to learn to seek my truthas well as karmically humbling myself. I guessart heals, in the most bizarre! Artist: Amalia Syakirah