Title: Stress!
Year: 2012
Size: 29.7cm x 42cm

Technique: Biro and Colour Pencil

The two works I’ve chosen for, Visceral, are deeply relative to one another. However, they were drawn 10 years apart and each with slightly different meaning. ‘Stress’, is about the unknowing and difficulties of working in a call centre before I realised my condition. ‘Lost and Found’ is about knowing, the cure and coming of age. I drew the manic, multi-coloured, ‘Stress’, at the age of 25 whilst working in a call centre under what I found to be awful working conditions. I couldn’t understand why so many of my work colleagues were able to consistently keep time and hit targets. I never could. In most call centres when you take a call, you must complete it within a time limit and hit multiple sales targets simultaneously. After each call, you have a small amount of time to explain the reason for it and how you resolved it. Rinse/repeat, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. I could never hit my targets and I was extremely stressed, hence the name. I used to dread turning up to work every day. I could not help but build rapport with each caller and couldn’t complete the write up within good time. At this stage in life, I didn’t realise I was struggling with severe ADHD. I’d heard of it and often thought it just meant being forgetful. I didn’t realise how deep the rabbit hole was or the varying symptoms. Nor did I realise it’s a disorder whereby 2 crucial chemicals are largely amiss from the brain, Norepinephrine and Dopamine. Both of which help with time keeping, sleeping patterns, organisation and memory. Writing, Art and Music help to keep me focused without getting lost in my mind. These methods are like a mantra and a cure to obsessive behaviour. If you can find them, there are some very poignant giveaways hidden in the details of, ‘Stress!’. i.e., “I just can’t help myself”, “Troubled man” and “I talk too much”. When I look at this piece of work, it strikes me how I managed to depict what was going on inside my head without knowing what was happening biologically. I was bursting with information, and this was the only way I knew how to release it. At work, I truly felt like I didn’t belong, hence the word FONY on the TV frame. A mockery to myself, and jokingly as opposed to the electronic entertainment company, SONY.