Master of Education in Fine Arts
Shiga University, Shiga, Japan
While working as a part-time teacher at an elementary school, I posted illustrations and manga on the creative community site "Pixiv".
I moved to Yokohama when I got married and became a regular teacher at an elementary school, but I became depressed and retired in half a year.
After several years of rest, I am currently working as a child care-worker and continue to produce with drawing software.
Since I was little, I was afraid to get into the bed. Because I endlessly come up with the bad things that happened that day, the anxiety that tomorrow will come, and the instinc-tive fear of the night. At the same time, I couldn't sleep even with my eyes closed, and I watched various images. For example, an image of driving at high speed as if you were in a car on an empty road. Or, an image in which a ring of light or grains fluctuate and spread out of the field of view and disappear. I didn't fall asleep, so I kept watching those videos all the time. The image became a target of fear.
Immediately after I became an adult and got a job, I became depressed. At the hospital I visited at that time, I found out that I tend to have developmental disabilities. I learned that my sensation is so sensitive that I tend to get insomnia, and that my memory, think-ing, and imagination do not stop, that is, what happened before I fell asleep is a manifes-tation of my disability.
As I wrote at the beginning, I had a hard time sleeping at night and was dominated by negative thoughts. To make matters worse, I blamed myself, "I feel uncomfortable be-cause I don't make an effort." I couldn't admit that I was delicate and hard to live.
As I quit my job and took a rest, I gradually became able to forgive my shortcomings. Then, the image that was deeply connected to the difficulty of living became less scary, and I suddenly came up with the idea of drawing a picture. I want people who can't rec-ognize their suffering and worries to see my work. And I hope you will be kind to yourself.