Life is uncertain.
Just being is hardcore enough let alone being human, the capacity to question and be nowhere close to answering, to find yourself already be in it and simultaneously unable to define it. painting is my tool, to survive not knowing in microcosm, makes it much more manageable in the macrocosm.
Whatever I paint I simply try my best to let my visual field resolve into a pattern of color and shadow and light, relinquish my concept about the objects I gaze upon the raw data of visual perception.
I might feel tempted to rush into label something and shut down the moment of curiosity because it is vulnerable, but what if I, observe with wonder. What if I, lean into uncertainty. What if I, put aside my bias for just a moment. What if I, have atheistic faith in my brush for just one more stroke. As long as every brushstroke is covered by awareness I know I did my part.
When I paint, things just syncronistically fall into place and I know no matter what I'll be alright
After all, “If the world were clear Art would not exist“
At least we have uncertainty to be certain about.