Title: Pause
Year: 2021
Size: 18’’ x 24’’
Technique: acrylic, ink, spray paint on canvas

DESCRIPTION

Pause. I have learned to pause when agitated. Whether in anger or anxiety, pausing and breathing before a response can prevent wreckage. This can be a step towards peace. Not easy, but it’s a skill I attempt to practice one day at a time. Along path. Whether a simple transaction, short duration, long duration, or the entirety of life, I have and continue be, shaped by the many people and experiences that I have accumulated. Positive or negative, I am grateful for these people and experiences because they have led me to where I am today: finally able to enjoy my own company. The last 3 years have been brutal (divorce, death of loved ones, overcoming drug addiction, loss of job, and full custody of 2 little girls after the loss of their mom to drugs), but from where I stand now, I am grateful for the many tears, laughs, lessons, and blessings that equal who I am now because of them. I love you all. Projecting. I sometimes project my fear, trauma, anxiety, or insecurity on what people really think of me, looking for any evidence that validates the nasty voices in my head. I am a work in progress continually. I am at peace with that. Loving myself continues to be a project I work on daily.