I am currently working on a series of paintings of Mary Magdalena. This is one of them, depicting Mary Magdalena facing her memories of her days as a prostitute during her torment in the rocky house. I quoted from the Bible. The words are a warning to those who despise wisdom, who keep away from it, and who give themselves over to lust. The words of wisdom are depicted in the whirling serpent that pierces the head of the Magdalena as she is humiliated by the man. The two spilled eyes signify the state of being controlled by lust, losing sight of God, self, and truth. The diamond card in the center is one's heart lost in the frenzy of desire. The Word of Wisdom represented the regaining of my conscience, which is once again my treasure, the truth. What is depicted here is what actually happened to me. I myself lost myself in the sex industry after an event. In my long life, I had repeated setbacks, became desperate, lost sight of my dreams, and gave myself over to self-defeating desires. Then I became pregnant with a daughter, and after deep regret, I began to look at herself as a mother raising a daughter, read books, studied, regained myself, and began to paint again. I paint my life as if I were Magdalene, a former prostitute who met Christ, had her demons exorcised, repented, and went on to become a monk. For me, painting is a pray. Ever since I was a child, I have always loved to draw. I studied art in high school, but I had a physical breakdown and gave up the idea of going to art school. After that, I continued to paint in a modest way, but due to lack of formal education and repeated illnesses and troubles, I eventually gave up painting. I also lost hope for life and the sensitive heart that sustained me, and it was during this time of desperation that I gave birth to my daughter. As I mentioned earlier, I picked up the paintbrush again. My daughter is literally an angel to me because she has turned me back to painting. I now see it all as a sign of God's guidance. Also, my partner is the one who has helped me face my painful past in the sex industry and sublimate it into my artwork. Without him, I would have been defeated by my painful memories and would not have been able to paint. I have nothing but gratitude for him. I thank him, my daughter, my father, my friends, everything that supported me. Also, a strange thing happened before I started painting this Magdalena series. Since the birth of my daughter and the beginning of my resumption of painting, I had the desire to paint Magdalena, but I had not been able to do so. I think I was in such a state for about four years. Then, for the first time since my birth, I traveled with my family to my father's hometown. During that trip, I casually dropped by an exhibition at a museum, where I came across a painting depicting Magdalena in ancient times. After returning from that trip, I began to paint Magdalena.I was very worried about disclosing my career in sex work in this way, but I hope it will be an opportunity for viewers to think about gender, sex work, and occupational discrimination while viewing the work. I decided to announce my career as a painter.
I think I was guided to do so. I am not a person who thinks logically when I paint. I let my images, senses, and passions guide me when I paint. You are not limited to the words of the Bible or Magdalena, but you are open to seeing this work within a larger framework of sex, life, gender, desire, the human heart, wisdom, good and evil, etc. I would be happy if you enjoy the colors, shapes, and images just as you feel them. As the artist, I would be more than happy if you feel something.
Thank you very much for your appreciation.